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Men and women travel slightly different paths to arrive at sexual desire."I hear women say in my office that desire originates much more between the ears than between the legs," says Esther Perel, a New York City psychotherapist.Women were also more likely than men to call themselves bisexual, and to report their sexual orientation as a matter of choice.Why are women's sex drives seemingly weaker and more vulnerable to influence?Only about one-quarter of women say they think about it that frequently.

In another broad review of studies, Baumeister found many more lesbians reported recent sex with men, when compared to gay men's reports of sex with women.

That doesn't mean men don't seek intimacy, love, and connection in a relationship, just as women do. "Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex," Perel explains. Sex is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side," Perel says.

"It is their language of intimacy." Men, on average, take 4 minutes from the point of entry until ejaculation, according to Laumann.

Men are more likely to seek sex even when it's frowned upon or even outlawed: What turns women on? Northwestern University researcher Meredith Chivers and colleagues showed erotic films to gay and straight men and women.

They asked them about their level of sexual arousal, and also measured their actual level of arousal through devices attached to their genitals.

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